New Look

I ashamed to admit my last haircut was this one. The 'before picture' would basically be exactly the same now as it was then. How sad is that, I really must promise to myself to get regular haircuts. Maybe that will be my New Year's resolution this year.

Remember when

There are moments that I sit and remember what my like was like with only one little one.

When I had time to go for my long runs, or hit the gym without worrying if Hubby was ok looking after Lilly for a little longer.

How I could have a nice, quite shower, that was not accompanied by the sound of screaming (for some reason Lyndon hates the sound of the water running).

Drinking a cup of coffee without a toy landing in the middle of it, or worse it getting cold.

The simplicity involved in running an errand with only one little pair of feet tagging along. Now it there is so much more thought and planning, a trip to the grocery store is an extensive outing.

The easy of going out with the girls, or even with Hubby, because arranging a babysitter for a just a four year old was really quite simple.

It is amazing though how while how in reality none of it was that long ago, but it does feel like a totally different life time. One that I would never in a millions years ever go back to! Especially after seeing a smile like his.

Fall portraits

We had a mini session with the both kids on Lyndon's 7 month birthday. It was still nice enough that we were able to go outside for the photos (probably the last time until the spring, I am betting). I am so happy with how they turned out, and have already ordered some print for the house, something I tend to be rather slow at doing due to my indecisiveness.

Too much going on

I know I have been a bad blogger, I guess it is a really good thing I am not doing NaBloPoMo this year.

There is a lot going on right now. Too much for me too really stay on top of it feels like. Hubby and I are sort of going through a rough patch, as much as I hate to admit it. I don't (or won't) want to go into detail, despite this being my secret little corner of the blogosphere that only the odd person I know in real life has stumbelled across.

Things are just so complicated all of a sudden. While I knew things weren't perfect (really what couple is). Still though everything has sort of caught me off guard. One day will be just ok, the next pretty good and I am full of hope, and then things take a nose dive and I feel so alone.

Your thoughts and prayers are definietly needed.

Happy Birthday Lilly!

Today my little, baby girl is 5!!! F-I-V-E! Where have the days, and the years gone already. She has been waiting for this day for months, excitingly counting down, past all of the other fall birthdays our family has. "Am I 5 today Mommy?!?" she asked this morning as I woke her while singing Happy Birthday. I smiled and replied 'yes' and she started to dance, and jump around on the bed.

If I close me eyes it honestly feels like yesterday that she was just born.

Happy Birthday my little Lilly-Beth. I hope all of your precious dreams come true!

Confused

I am so incredibly torn right now, my head is spinning and I am on information overload! It is this whole H1N1 'pandemic' that has me all up in arms. I don't know if I should vaccinate my kids or not vaccinate my kids!

I seriously need the universe to send me a giant sign, as I am making myself crazy over the whole thing.

I know this flu is different, and it isn't the same as the seasonal flu. But, at the same time it isn't nearly as lethal as they assumed it was going to be. I know so many people close to me who have already had it too; including my sister-in-law and her kids and husband, my brother (who I was the most worried about getting it, as he is one of the 'healthy, but with serious underlying lung complications' types), friends of Lilly, friends of or friends. The list just seems to keep growing faster than I can keep track of it! Everyone has been really sick for about a week, but then they are just fine.


Normally we are 100% pro-vaccines, with the exception of the seasonal flu shot. In this case I would love my kids to have some immunity against it, without having to suffer. But my gut reaction is to be scared of this vaccine! How horrible is that? It isn't so much H1N1 antigen, or even the thermasil I am concerned about, but rather the Adjuvant, the Squalene, I am slightly freaking about. Possible long term, talking years done the road, side effects from it, is all I can really think about. Of course there is little research done on the side effects of the squalene that I can find, and as I stated it is long term effects that I am most bothered by.

Of course the squalene is only in the Canadian vaccine, not the ones in the US as it isn't approved there by the FDA yet. Should that be another warning bell? I don't konw.

The decision to vaccinate the kids was out of my hands the last few days, as the clinics here were closed due to a vaccine shortage. They reopen today, not to the masses, but to the high risk. To children 6 months to under 5 years. My kids fall in that group. This morning I made the decision to go and stand in line and get the vaccine, then I read some more and I don't know again.

Real risk we are currently faced with versus the unknown, long-term effects.

What do I do? What are you doing?

Halloween Recap

Lilly hit the mother load with the candy this year, while we hardly had any trick-or-treaters . In summation, there is a A LOT of candy in our house at the moment. :)